I am Katya Waters.
A survivor of violence.
I fought death and won.
So why do I feel so dead
inside?
Katya Waters is a small-town girl, mentally
unprepared to deal with her deep, dark past. While walking in her sanctuary,
her innocence was torn from her in the most brutal fashion- run to the ground
as if she were an animal by a pack of vicious Hunters. After they wounded her
spirit, they left her for dead.
How does one overcome a debilitating,
tragic event? By strength, perseverance, and an unrelenting will to survive.
Out of desire, Katya no longer wanted to be
the hunted. She hungered to be the hunter.
Finally taking her life into her own hands,
Katya reached for what she’d earned, for the respect every human being so
rightfully deserves.
By moving to a new city for the job of her
dreams, Katya unwittingly brought her past nightmares to life, slowly drawing
the repressed, dark memories into the light. With a deep desire to explore her
true nature, Katya entered the BDSM Club, Restraint; never realizing there
would be no escape from her secrets within the club’s walls. Katya’s entire
existence turned into a living, breathing, never-ending therapy session from
Hell.
The Boss pulled Katya into a thrilling game
of Kat & Mouse as a way to force Katya to accept the truth of her past.
Follow Katya’s heartbreaking journey as she connected the mystery of her past
with her thrilling present.
… As long as I have a tomorrow, I can endure
today.
Book 1
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Cort’s Everlasting Wood
“Don’t pull Ezra’s psycho-babble out on me,
Cort,” I warn. “I’ve cried enough on you guys’ shoulders, back when I was dumb
enough to trust you. I was cold and smart, and then Ez manipulated me into
feeling warm and safe again. I’m no longer that dipshit of a woman I’ve been
for the past two months.”
Cort tries to be the voice of reason again.
Scary thought. “Kat–”
But I cut him off. “I never lie down and
wait for help that will never arrive. I won’t be passive. I take matters into
my own hands and save myself. That’s what smart people do.”
“Smart people also recognize the person
standing before them as someone who they can trust, someone who is only here
because they want to help. A smart person knows when to ask for help instead of
being stubborn. Maybe I should have Aaron tell you this shit, since I’m usually
the one he smacks in the face with reality.”
“I don’t need your help right now. I need
to regroup, to plan my next course of action,” I bite out.
“And out of everyone you know, who the fuck
do you think is the best person for that job?” Cort snarls. “I’m a goddamned
writer. Your writer.” Cortez gestures to his body, not only
talking with his hands, but screaming with them. “I’m the motherfucking plot
master! So let’s go plot, Kitten.”
“I don’t know if I can trust you,” I
whisper.
“Trust this,” Cort breathes into my face,
getting angrier with every word spoken. “I’ve been with Ez since birth, and
he’s fucked me over time and time again. He’s left me feeling just as bereft,
raw, betrayed, and wounded as you feel right now. Worse, actually. So trust
that I want to punish Ezra more than you could ever imagine, even if I have to
use you to do it. Trust that, Kitten.”
My throat clenches– a remembrance of how
far Cortez Abernathy is willing to go to teach Ezra a lesson, even if he has to
use me to do it. That, I can trust.
No soft touches between us as Cort looks
into my eyes, knowing the exact direction of my thoughts. He doesn’t apologize.
He doesn’t shrug or nod. He doesn’t even smirk. He just keeps staring at me
with blatant honesty and a need to seek his own vengeance, even if he has to
use my pain as an excuse.
“Ezra never apologizes to you, does he? He
never allows you to punish him, does he?”
“Never,” Cort breathes; eyes glossy, fists
clenched. “Not once. Ez hits me where it hurts the most, using mental tactics I
can’t avoid. The sick thing is, he doesn’t even realize he’s harming me in the
process. The few times I’ve hurt him, it was nothing compared to the pain he’s
dealt me. So, what’s the plan, Kitten? We both need this.”
Cortez looks at me as if he’s seeing me for
the very first time. We’ve been around each other a few times, and I’ve never
felt as if I ever really got to know him. Yes, being skull-fucked was
enlightening. But reading Cortez Abernathy’s books had given me even more
insight into him as a person. Of all the conversations we’ve held so far, this
moment is the first time I’ve understood Cortez on a human level.
I look back at Cort as well, truly seeing
him for the person he is, and liking what I see. Cort is my mirror image, more
like me than anyone I’ve ever met.
Aaron is childlike in his pain. He’s
severely loyal to Ezra, which is a detriment to his other relationships. I’m
not discrediting him for it. I love him in spite of it. Aaron will always put
Ezra above all others, no matter the consequences. Which means I can only trust
Aaron if Ezra has my best interests at heart. My lack of trust in Ezra means
Aaron’s loyalty is not a chance I’m willing to take.
Ezra reacts all right, but on his own
terms. He is selfless because he takes care of Aaron and Cortez first, but
selfish because he does it to punish himself. The air around him is permeated
with self-hatred. Doesn’t Ezra realize he can’t truly love someone else if he
can’t love himself? He’ll always doubt their love, because why should they love
what he hates?
Ezra is a martyr.
Cortez sees to his needs and wants first.
It sounds selfish, but it’s not. How can you help others if you can’t help
yourself? You must be at your strongest to tackle what life throws in your
path. You cannot allow someone else to leach your strength, to drain you, or
else you can’t shoulder your own burdens, let alone someone else’s. Cortez
doesn’t break. He doesn’t wallow in his pain. He knows he’s fucked up, and
accepts that fact with open arms. His attitude allows him to accept everyone
else despite their problems. It’s a simple way of living– ruthless and
practical. I accept them all.
“Are you going to go take a shower and cry
like a little bitch, or are you going to grow a pair and help me plot?” Cort
challenges me, more so with his unflinching attitude than with his words. “You
with me?”
“I’m with ya,” I utter, never breaking his
stare. My mind forms our plan in an instant. “We’re going shopping, and then we’re
setting up the dungeon. I need you to do a few things for me, like get people
rounded up. This will go down in history as a phenomenal punishment.”
“You’re not really going to hurt Ezra, are
you?” Cort looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, causing a wicked smirk to pull
at my lips. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that,” he breathes out.
“Says the man who used me to punish Ezra.
Yeah, I ain’t buying your bullshit, buddy,” I taunt as Cort chokes on a laugh.
“Oh, Ezra will hurt, all right. Just not physically– much. We’re going to hurt
him where it matters. Cerebral fuckage, Dr. Ezra Zeitler-style.”
“Just hearing that made me spring wood,”
Cort sighs, eyes slipping shut as he shifts the growing bulge around in his
pants with the heel of his palm. Groaning from the contact, I realize I better
distract Cort before he fucks himself. He’s shameless enough to masturbate
before me, of that I have little doubt.
My Review 5*****
I love this book, the story drew me in straight away, i knew from the blurb that it would be pretty dark, however i was unprepared for the story that came along with it. Katya is such a strong character i really enjoyed seeing a character that has been beaten donw but refuses to give up. Ezra i love him, i kind of feel he is a total love him or hate him type of guy. Cort is great as well flirty and fun i think they all fit well together.
if you want a book that keeps building until the very end then this is the book for you. i can't recommend it enough.
Erica Chilson does not write in the 3rd
person, wanting her readers to be her
characters. Therefore, writing a bio about herself, is uncomfortable in the
extreme.
Born, raised, and here to stay, the Wicked
Writer is a stump-jumper, a ridge-runner. Hailing from North Central
Pennsylvania, directly on the New York State border; she loves the changes in
seasons, the humid air, all the mountainous forest, and the gloomy
atmosphere.
Introverted, but not socially awkward,
Erica prides herself on thinking first and filtering her speech. There are days
she doesn’t speak at all. If it wasn’t for the fact that she lives with her
parents, giving her a sense of reality, she would be a hermit, where the
delivery man finds her months after expiration.
Reading was an escape, a way to leave a
not-so pleasant reality behind. Reading lent Erica the courage she gathered
from the characters between the pages to long for a different life. Writing was
an instrument of change, evolving Erica into the woman she is today- a better,
more mature, more at peace thinker.
Erica has a wicked mind, one she pours out
into her creations. Her filter doesn’t allow all of it to erupt, much to her
relief. Sarcastic, with a very dark, perverse sense of humor, Erica puts a bit
of herself into every character she writes.
Connect with
Erica
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ReplyDeleteI love this excerpt! Cortez and Ezra trap and fascinate.
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